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american spirit

by hann cassady

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1.
we were built only for the winter yet we still exalt the summer breeze. you breathe in the cold air and exhale my name and we become the same: both freezing
2.
evergreen 02:42
you're happy on the weekends when your petals are still in bloom. you give yourself a stomachache when you look in the mirror that you carry like a weight to the bathroom. you are wearing a sweater when it is eighty degrees. when i ask you what it means, you just roll down the sleeves. i am so in love with you. but even more than that, i'm in love with the way that i know that you will hurt me. i just want that so bad. i've never wanted something more than when your tired eyes met mine. you are fragile, you are tentative. i've got nothing but time for you.
3.
i am holed up in your skin where i feel safe but i am unwelcome. i am losing faith in this plot cause i keep pretending it's real and we both forget it's not. every night before i go to bed i smoke a cigarette to remind myself of the taste of your breath. every night before i fall asleep i can bet that i will wake up in a dream about you. i am a figment of your imagination in every sense. i can't escape this suspicion that i will fuck things up again.
4.
thrill 03:05
i heard you weren't leaving today and that's okay. from the back of my mind i'm screaming out your name. i really wish you would stay. please don't let me go out here alone. i don't know these roads and i'm out on my own. baby girl ain't eating again. she's got too much on her mind. you notice the bags under my eyes from being such a piece of shit all the time. i don't know how you got to be so tolerable of me. if i was in your shoes, i would have left when i had the chance to.
5.
ex-boyfriend 03:42
i am ill and i have no intention on ever getting better. i like it how it is. you're afraid to touch me because you know that i will fall to pieces. we lay here under my sheets. we're similar in design but worlds apart on what we think that means. i'm so homesick for someone that i know you cannot be. i am sick and i am getting sicker. you are sad and i only make it worse. i'm a disease but you will never cure me. you know that's not what i want. you're the static and i'm the fabric, we are attracted but it can never stay. a bad habit that we will never break is writing all these love songs that we don't know how to play.
6.
team sports 03:22
i miss you so much when you're gone but even more when you are laying next to me. i can see you, i can hear you, i can reach out, i can touch you. but you're not there. you are the greatest ocean that i will ever swim, but i am just too tired to keep going. i feel useless. i am hopeless. i am underwhelmed with myself and yet i'm so lucky. it feels vapid, it feels empty when you pull me in so closely only to whisper words that cut me so thin: "you are the greatest ocean that i will ever swim, but i am just too tired to keep going." but i could ignite forest fires with all the burning that i do for you.
7.
months 01:50
8.
march 01:41
i don't know what to do. i'm dropping out of school. i want to be with you.

about

american spirit was an album written over the period of two weeks at the end of winter 2013, most of it in the early morning hours when i couldn't sleep. it is a much-needed cathartic release of everything i had collected to say up until now in the best (and only) way i truly know how to say anything. it is dedicated to every person i love and every aspect of myself that i loathe. i apologize in advance

credits

released April 12, 2013

this album was recorded in a dorm room at the univ. of rhode island using minimal resources and with as few takes as possible. jacob telford mixed and mastered everything. i wrote everything.

extra special thanks to: jake, kate, sean, zack, akshay, dj, joe, conor, joel, maddie, frank and randall (my instruments), my parents, coffee, cold takeout food, cough drops, and you.

cover photograph taken by my dad outside one of my first homes, iowa city, ia, circa 1995. edited by me (aka instagram)

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hann cassady Providence, Rhode Island

booking | inquiries:
hanncassady666@gmail.com

inspired by throwing your hands in the air on a broken down roller coaster

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