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god fearing woman

by hann cassady

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  • Cassette + Digital Album

    burnt orange cassette tape. from the desk of the number one. limited edition of 100 copies.

    $1 from every cassette sale will be donated to The Vashti Initiative, a non-profit dedicated to supporting survivors of spiritual abuse through advocacy and empowerment.

    Includes unlimited streaming of god fearing woman via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more.
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    edition of 100 
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1.
what could have lived here in the space between our miseries? again it is cyclical, the tape plays backwards he speaks through me what else is out there? i hope you'll sit and watch it with me you are a healer i'm a sightseer you make my faith run thin and the hair stand straight on my neck you make me believe again i won't apologize for grieving or for thinking that i too might die i feel it concurrent with happiness and we don't have to pick a side what else is out there? i hope we sit and watch it all go by you are a healer i'm a sightseer you make my faith run thin and the hair stand straight on my neck you make me believe again
2.
outflow 02:38
tell me where i went wrong did i push you too hard? did i just go too far? i guess i made you want to run from me did i want you to go though i felt so alone? i couldn't keep my emotions in a row i wanted to blanket you in my fear but now you're not here i'm running down the parkway giving it all away i am wishing you were there to hold my hand taking me down again i don't want anyone to know you're giving it all away i thought it would be easy to let you go did i force feed you this out on the precipice? making me rethink my love and my religion i held you out to the fields and the fire i thought i gave the chance for something good to pass i let you watch all this through a looking glass i thought i held you on a much thinner wire but now you're not mine you're flushed with indifference making me want to be harder to find you hold your thumb to the road you flash a smile, overexposed i don't want anyone to know you're throwing this all away i thought it would be easy to keep you home
3.
gfw 03:25
i let the breeze in through the window i watch you sing while you clean the floors i guess i turned into your shadow if i were any less i'd wish for more if i ever leave you it will be for a woman someone who screams my name and whispers her own someone who falls asleep in an armchair who never questions if i gave you more this day begs to be written in a sermon a warning that bleeds the ink all over my hands i let the breeze out through the window i beg for distance, you beg for a second chance and if i ever leave you it will be for a blessing i will run your name across the highest sea and my new woman will keep me guessing my heart aches for a break inside of me sometimes i dream you run into her on a busy street sometimes i just want you to scream at me you drop your keys and she whispers alluringly i think i knew you in a past life in a house made of a moon on either side
4.
no furniture 03:35
first friend in a new city first one who i think gets me i will fill you with fake blood i will make you less cold playing pool in your little town a smoky bar far removed we knew what laid between us but didn't act for fear it'd end us i wish you were here right now after one glass of red i think that i'm a writer after one sip of whiskey i can be your future but i'm your heat and you left me in the dead of winter you are the cult of the number one and i will love you with my eyes shut through suffering, through celebration i dreamt about shooting up i dreamt about your glow i thought i saw the flood but how could i ever know? all we want now is a cheap place to live sitting all around the floor we'll have champagne out of crystal but no furniture
5.
isn't it a little much now? we play with live ammo and get scared when the gunfire sounds but i don't hold it against you we're driving through this goddamn ghost town we'll stumble into the only bar that hasn't seen our faces yet on the evening news but i've decided to take my death at any time i'm reminded that you told me it'd be fine and i don't want to wait for you to go first have we had our fun now? i'm looking back, i see every light is on and they're gaining on us moving swiftly to the edge you're taking me back to camp now you say that only god can judge us and he's focused on someone else we're just looking out for ourselves i've decided to swallow my heaven in my hell i'd share eternity with you but not in a goddamn jail cell and i don't want to wait for your mind to change i stay blinded you're a roller coaster in my heart i try to hide it i try not to tear you apart if i open that gate then you can't be safe
6.
he told me not to worry there's no need to be afraid i can cry on my own time in some other place you know i want to save you but i've got to save myself i woke between the trees and knew i had to meld my feelings and my virtue my heart and my soul the crystal tells the future that i now have to hold so fall asleep in that tent wake up with the sun keep your anger in your chest hold your breath until he's done hold your breath until he's done
7.
dollface 02:58
confirm my suspicions relax my ambitions i don't want to tread lightly i don't want to be there to watch you break the glass pull the table right off its feet what is it like now not to be afraid to take up space? can you even stand still? i reinvent the wheel and still feel like i don't do enough like i am hard to love like all my fears are founded my nails are pounded into the walls of this uncanny dollhouse what else can we suffer through, can we even blame you? you're just the one with the flashlight in the hotel room my eyelids are heavy on a red-eye flight old fashioned drunk in the dead of the night tattoo a name on your neck that you didn't accept cover it well with bruises and shells if you take us back, you can have what we have take it all all off the top top shelf your mythic is wild makes me cover my ears like a little child in the other room i can hide from the sound but not from you or have you gone away? is it fair for me to say that i only miss you for half of the day? but when the sun is bright or at the end of the night i can fold into myself and fight the urge to drive off and become a lost cause no one believes the woman that's cost another person's life because she fears god and god looks like a sinner her god talks like a sinner
8.
coney island 03:27
in the backseat of your car i forgot how to speak i was afraid of all the color you'd see in the backseat of your car i was bound and gagged by the heat of the words you were too proud to say and the curve of your hand by the edge of the pier i wanted to be far i stay near and i wonder if the wound you made out of me will stay in the backseat i couldn't see joy i couldn't feel scared the only thing i feel is unprepared i'm sinking now like the coast's been for years out towards the city, the memory appears i can't call them my home now it's more than a word underneath the abandoned parking lots a colony of crucial anxious thoughts we mark our love with paint on the dead metal frame i arch my back underneath you death on the way from the boardwalk we crawl towards the city's blue smoke a cycle, a freakout, a heartless cruel joke i can't catch a break my wordless mistake i'm harboring thunder i crack at the base my lunar's your sonar a fool's steeplechase from the boardwalk, i wave goodbye to my home now my friends and my faith in the backseat i wanted to love you i swear that i tried i keep you below me my spiritual guide my angel's your demon my end is your start all that i ask for is to rip me apart can you rip apart now? in the backseat
9.
they were lovers who lived in a van she went missing he did his killing in his head and we can't decide if they're in disguise they wanted to be free and far but they found out the make and model of their car you were a token you were a game one that he was more than willing to play and you folded like a house of cards you were a light that wouldn't go out you were the basement of a haunted house skinned knees on asphalt you're a work of art out here there are no normal conversations out here there is no hesitation out here it's weather forever out here you find facts in your fiction out here you hold onto your lessons out here we reinvent three times a week out here it's tide pools on the sidewalk out here it's tarot cards and slow talk it's advice to escape the weather out here the snakes turn into trees out here we find a reason to believe that it won't be weather forever out here the fire fills the sea out here we give each reason to believe that it won't be weather forever

about

god fearing woman is an exploration of grief, belonging, escapism, cruelty and love

join the cult of the number one at www.hanncassady.com

credits

released October 29, 2021

written by hann cassady

guitar/vocals - hann cassady
bass - sam mccaughey
keys/vocals - katie owens
drums - stephen chevalier
additional instrumentation - bradford krieger

recorded, mixed, and mastered by bradford krieger at big nice studio in lincoln, ri

album art by madds ellis
@blodnas on instagram

the car heard in track 8 is lyn's 1970 gremlin

50% of any bandcamp sales from "god fearing woman" will benefit The Vashti Initiative, which assists those who have been impacted by spiritual abuse
vashtiinitiative.org

we hope this record helps you believe again

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about

hann cassady Providence, Rhode Island

booking | inquiries:
hanncassady666@gmail.com

inspired by throwing your hands in the air on a broken down roller coaster

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